more espresso? more buddhism?

Do you ever feel numb? I don't know if numb is the right word, but it's the word that has come into my head a lot recently. I think it's one of the most awful states of emotions. It's like you're seeing something that is supposed to be moving or stirring, and all you can think about is something mundane. I am probably exagerrating my feelings, but in the last couple days I have been thinking about this state of emotion. I think what triggered it was actually reading my friend Zoe's email from her current adventure at a 4-month retreat at a Buddhist meditation center. I actually hate to admit that it stirred me so much, but she talked about the clarity in which she understands her own being and voice which will now help her understand and live in the world. I think I'm kind of nervous that I am close to understanding and caring about things, but maybe I don't always get all the way there to real clarity. Maybe I'm not totally aware of myself in a way that will keep me from really opening up to and perceiving others?

Sometimes when I feel like I am not adequately expressing my emotions after observing something impressively beautiful or touching, I think about this friend from my abroad trip in Bolivia. Denali was overly expressive in Bolivia, and I am happy that don't express the exact same way as her. But sometimes I feel like I need a little caffeine boost, and then I will be really excited about something or really expressive. Maybe that's really all it is. A couple weeks ago I had an espresso, and I just got in this great lively mood. Maybe I just need a little more coffee in my life.

Anyway, I was thinking about all this stuff last Friday when I was in Carabayllo, which is the northern part of Lima which is mostly shantytowns and farms. It's where I do my water research, Carlos works with the children, and Collin teaches swimming. As I was riding along on the long trip out to the small town I was visiting that afternoon, Huarangal, I was wondering if I was really open and aware in a way that was really letting me observe and get excited. I had just read Zoe's email and was getting worried that I won't really experience life with as much excitement as I can until I am retired and discovered Buddhism. (I don't really have plans to discover Buddhism when I'm retired.) To put up a case saying that I DO really feel things and experience the world, I should describe my afternoon in Huarangal that day that I made reference to in my last post. It was a really amazing afternoon in terms of seeing how another culture welcomes in a public works project.

On the bus ride a mother and son got on with a chicken and baby chicks. Right after them another pair came on with a dead pig in a bucket. Literally. I think they had maybe cut off it's hind legs and butt and just stuffed it in a bucket. It's front legs and head were sticking out. The skin was all white. Later that day at the eating part of the festival for the water, we were served pig. On Carmen's plate I could see a hairy piece of pig. Eww.

cuye!

I have not been good about posting lately-- I'm sorry! Here's a picture from a good afternoon I had yesterday. I went to this small town I have visited a number of times now for my water project. They were having an inauguration of their new water system. It ended up being this really cool event to observe, especially after taking Michael's anthropology classes at Skidmore on how other cultures talk about and handle water. They had a nun bless the water and hold a mass for the people. Then the dude in the town who is in charge of the water works project had the NGO people give speeches to the town, Carmen, and then me! It was pretty funny to give a speech to a town where I haven't really done anything, nor did I at all have anything prepared. Anyway, I will post more later, but leave you with this picture of the plate of food they gave to the president of the NGO who helped finance the building of the school and water tank. Note the guinea pig (cuye) in the front lying on his back. His head is on the left side and you can see his little feet sticking out.

fieldtrip pictures

So a couple weekends ago Socios organized a fieldtrip for the volunteers and other coworkers who wanted to come. It was a packed day of eating breakfast at roadside place serving only pig products (not so good for our Jewish volunteer Collin,) a stop at a beautiful little beach town Cerro Azul where Peruvian's world champion female surfer grew up, a boat trip around the Islas Bellestas (the main event of the trip,) and a short tour of a couple wineries (where we really just got fed a whole lot of sweet wine and pisco, and didn't learn much about the wineries.) A fun day indeed. Anyway, here are some photos:

Here's a shot from the beach at Cerro Azul.














A baby sea lion hanging out next to our boat! The sea lions were really amazing. I guess babies start going out in the ocean alone when they are 6 months old. Big fat sea lions were just draped all over the rocks.










Sea lions congregated on the island. In the shade there were heaps of sea lions all on top of each other barking and yelling all sorts of things. I guess the mom's are all yelling out to their kids. A frequent reason why babies die is from being squished by their parents. Poor little guys.











The islands themselves were completely covered in birds of all kinds just crammed in and pooping. They export the guana, which gives the trip around the islands a distinct smell. There were pelicans, penguins (my favorite!) and all sorts of birds that I don't remember the names of.

start raising hell!

We are the people who run this country. We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war. Raise hell. Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we’re for them and trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush’s proposed surge. If you can, go to the peace march in Washington on Jan. 27. We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, “Stop it, now!”

-Excerpt from Molly Ivin's last column on The Texas Observer, January 27, 2007.

Here's a nice tribute to a pretty noteworthy journalist from AlterNet.