ouch.

Sunday morning. Well, Sunday afternoon. Last week at lunch one day I complained to Holly and Collin saying, why don't they ever sit with us? We've been here for 5 months, and still when there are seats at lunch next to us, people rarely take them. If Carmen's crew or the Salud Infantil crew came in, I know they would want to sit with us, so I am kind of exaggerating. Sometimes I just get annoyed at how hard it is to be included. Right after New Year's I heard all this commotion on the first floor right outside our cubicle. I turned to Holly and said, now what are we missing? All annoyed. I peaked my head out and they were leading a prayer for that event that January 6th marks. Suddenly I regretted poking my head out and quickly snuck back in. The next day when commotion was happening outside our office, they were celebrating a birthday. So I guess it's worth taking my chance and just trying to include myself.

Anyway, point is we were invited to a despedida for one of the engineers who works at Socios. He's leaving Socios, and as far as I can tell, no one knows why. Including him. It seems kind of typical Socios actually. A couple computer programmers from the Boston PIH office have been here all week training him and Pablo, and now he's leaving. Jorge, to be replaced by another Jorge.

So even though I had other plans, I knew I couldn't not go to the event. Especially since they were actively including me by inviting us. I appreciate that. (oh, I should express that. one of my new year's resolutions is to express gratitude more.) In any event, Aldo (the newest volunteer), Darius, Mike (the PIH guys), and I piled into a taxi that felt like it was about to fall apart and headed out to the Boulevard de Los Olivos. Even though it's really far away, I like going there more than the street of discotecas near our house where all the rich limeñans and gringos normally go. It has a more relaxed real feeling to it. Upstairs at the Rock and Latin Discoteca we found the 2 nurses I work closely with (one is my boss), another lady I don't know, and the secretary who has CEO like responsibilities and power. So, as if dancing doesn't make me uncomfortable enough, now I get to dance with people who I am nervous around anyway.

At one point in our six hour stay at this bar, I realized that for most people dancing is fun. It's not torturous. I am a bad dancer with tight shoulders, hips that don't move, and feet that can't keep up with the salsa beat. I can handle regeaton. It's just a whole lot of gyrating. When I realized that this is an activity other people probably look forward to doing, I felt kind of happy looking around at all the happy dancing people. I am sometimes happy dancing, but in very specific environments with specific people. My co-volunteer Carlos is great for my dancing because he is a really good leader, and I feel very comfortable with him. I also enjoy dancing to Chuck Berry with my high school friends.

Our little glasses of beer were filled over and over and over again, yet still I could hardly relax to have fun dancing. When my favorite latin pop songs came on though, I admit I really did have the urge to dance. Little by little, maybe one day I will get there. Where a Saturday night with coworkers is fun and not torturous.

p.s. The ouch refers to the head ache the beers, that did not make me more relaxed and fun dancing, gave me.