Socios

So I'm leaving Socios, did I mention that already? I got offered this short term job with ProPeru in Cusco for the month of January. So I'm leaving here before the end of December to spend Christmas in Boston, then going to Cusco for January. After that--who knows. Could be coming back to Socios--which seems the most likely right now as I am realizing how much work I still have to do, and how fun some of it is. Although I am also remembering how boring lots of it is, and can imagine myself not feeling motivated enough to come back here. Nonetheless, the option is available, which is really nice of them. The option is also available to stay in Cusco, although after January it would be unpaid.

One thing we've been talking about doing for many many months, we finally did last Friday. We held a kind of group therapy and small group work with the psychiatrist we work with for the people that work in the communities with patients. The focus was how does one manage when a patient is abandoning treatment, or failing the treatment, or dies. Peoples' stories were really extreme, but everyone seems like they have a really good sense of how to take care of themselves throughout these stressful events and occurrences. Or maybe not that they know how take care of themselves, they just do, and don't complain about it. They don't complain about getting a phone call in the middle of the night from a patient's brother who said, I think my brother is dead. They just head over to the house and do all they can. What they do, is really inspiring and impressive. At the groups, we also had the secretaries who basically serve as the intermediaries between the patients, the health workers, the morgue, the hospital--everything. I think it went really well, and I hope Socios does it more frequently. The last time they did this was in 2002.

Here are some pictures from the session. One is me with a birthday cake for one of our secretaries. Another is of 3 of the health workers. The one on the right is one of my favorites.

Scattered.

I feel like I have been thinking about the future all the time, and all I want to do is live right now in the present. It's a hard balance. In order for me to have the options I want next year, I have to apply to schools now. But I also am here in Lima, which I now know is not for an indefinite period, so I want to really get into the work I'm doing here. I am currently desperately trying to pick some grad programs to apply to, so I can get the application process rolling. A friend pointed out here that I am lucky since I have a general direction I want to go in life, but the hard part is zeroing in on what I want to use to get me there. A nurse practitioner degree? A public health degree? A social work degree? Or a medical anthropology degree? Part of me wants to do all of it. All are related to what I want to do, yet I need to think about what specifically I want to do after I graduate. Two weeks ago I was certain about medical anthropology, then was certain I wanted a degree in public health. More general, seemed safer. But recently have been feeling I really want to do clinical work, but I don't know if I actually want to deal with the patient's body. So does that mean I want to be a social worker?? Didn't I decide years ago that I didn't want to be a social worker?

My newest solution: apply to a variety of programs, and see where it takes me. See how I feel in six months.

Another positive development: spring is officially here in Lima. The sun is coming out! I have a sun burn on my face from going for a run yesterday. A sun burn!!! Just a couple months ago, we never even saw a our shadows because there was never enough sun.

I am reading an inspiring book to help me stay motivated to apply to school. It's working well. Women, Poverty, and AIDS

ops

Sorry, few fellow readers, something happened (not sure what) and my blog has just not been on my radar. In any event, here we go.

I recently went on this very quick trip to Bolivia and back. I have a 90 visa, so every 3 months I have to leave the country and come back to get a new one. This time I went to Bolivia, a country I used to know so well! Chino and I traveled on many forms of transportation (nice buses, not nice buses, taxis, colectivos, mototaxis, tricycle--that's kind of like a rickshaw, and boats) to get from Cusco to La Paz. All in all, it was a beautiful trip with a short visit to Lake Titicaca, the highest navigable lake. We spent a night on an island in the lake, which was great. Would've been even better if it wasn't so high, so I didn't have altitude sickness.

This is the second time I've been to Bolivia since Evo has been president. When I was a study abroad student in Cochabamba, he came and talked to our class and we were all very impressed. Although I don't think I actually understood most of what he said. Since then most of my news about Bolivian politics comes from the New York Times, the BBC, or this very biased blog of Jim Shultz. The NY Times usually glorifies Evo to the extreme, which makes it tiresome to read about and hard to know what is actually true. Every once in a while I take a glance at a Bolivian newspaper online, but supposedly the news there is now completely controlled by the Evo administration to the extreme that some reporter was killed since he spoke out against Evo. Who knows if that's all true or not. Point is, I just had this chilling conversation with a friend from Bolivia. He told me about how he think Bolivia is in the worse state they've ever been in. How prices have raised incredibly, and there are no jobs. The government isn't doing anything about the fact that no one has work or money. At one point, all health workers at public hospitals went on strike for days and days. There were no health workers in the hospitals!! Four years ago when I was living there you could buy 6 breads for 1.5 bolivianos. Now it's 2 breads for the same price. There are crazy news stories about Venezuelan troops hiding in the jungle or at the Santa Cruz airport. Rumors that the lowland cities are going to start a civil war against the highlands. Crazy stuff! But I don't really know what to believe. There is also an assembly re-writing the constitution, but so far I guess not one page has been written.

Chino and I were in La Paz, the capital, and from our perspective everything seemed more or less chill. We passed one protest, but that is normal for Bolivia. I worry that Bolivia is on the brink of another big uproar. There are so many current issues: the department of Santa Cruz voted to be an autonomous state, coca growing and the US "War on Drugs," the constitution, the large amount of natural gas the country has, and the unemployment. They can't even agree on the capital of the country!

I admit I still really like Evo for perhaps not all the right reasons. Not that they're "wrong" reasons, just I know I should keep on my research on someone before blindly supporting their politics. I like that he speaks Aymara. I like that he wears a cool jacket instead of a suit. I like that he's indigenous, since the majority of the country is indigenous. I admit I am impressed he has remained in office for this long in a country that has coup de etats very frequently.

I wish it was easier to get a non-biased report of what was going on in another place. I also wish I could post pictures of the trip, but I left in a rush for the airport since I woke up half an hour before my plane was leaving and forgot my camera.

celebrating putting yourself out there

I worry this post will come across as egotistical--I really don't mean it to. I have a new ex-pat friend in Lima, and we were talking last night about how it's important to take time to congratulate yourself when you put yourself out there. It's a scary thing to do, but a lot of us do it all the time without acknowledging it. This came up in conversation when I was telling her about my recent stay in Ollantaytambo where I hung out with Chino and his friends and family. I definitely took time to congratulate myself on eating the cuy (guinea pig) that his mom prepared for us, and we ate while looking at the cuy in the house. Growing up in the U.S., I am used to being very disconnected from where my food comes from. Meat comes packaged up in ways that don't resemble the animal it came from. I remember my family was traumatized by a sign at a store in our town that said FRESH KILLED TURKEY. It was a learning experience for both Chino and I, since he has grown up knowing exactly where his food came from and so was surprised that it was difficult for me to eat the animal while looking at it.

Anyway, I'm specifically talking about this today because I have finally completed and submitted my Fulbright application. I had no idea it would be such a complex, intense process. I am now very excited about my proposed project, but obviously have to plan for other activities. I don't find out about the grant until the spring. Yikes. Fortunately I made a good connection with a cool biologist in the Sacred Valley where I applied to work, so there is always the chance I could work with him anyway.

One of the coolest things about the application process, was that it required me to talk to lots of people. I think I had 5 people help edit my essays, 4 people write letters of recommendation, 4 people write letters of affiliation, met with 4 people in the Sacred Valley, and my current boss is sending my application in for me. How can I possibly show my gratitude to all those people? That reminds me that one of my New Year's resolutions was to express gratitude. So, thank you. I couldn't have done the application without you. I apologize that this post is so cheesy.

In the meantime of waiting for the results about the Fulbright, I'm planning on throwing myself out there even more by applying to a couple grad. school programs.

That's the latest news from San Borja, Lima.

Diesel had a baby!

My beloved Diesel has created another café in Union Square with Dezmerelda in management! Please visit it and order me a soy latte!

Reclaim the streets for horns, bikes, and feet!

That's right! Second Annual HonkFest. This year only one of my brother's will be playing, as the other will be out of town. Eric is playing both in the Rude Mechanical Orcestra, his former band from NY. And with his new San Francisco band. Wish I could be there.

Brief Relief Work Part 2

One month later...

A few of us from the first brigada woke up very early and met up with the director of the program for tuberculosis at the Ministry of Health and a couple doctors and people what work with him to drive down to the affected area. The goal was slightly unclear to me, (as they often are) but I had it understood that we were going to show the Ministry of Health (MINSA) officials what the health centers of the affected cities were doing to control an increase in health problems due to the destruction of the earthquake. People with tuberculosis who are positive, aren't supposed to live too closely with their family members. But after the earthquake, many families all had to cram into their kitchen or whichever room survived the tremors. So there was a big fear of contagion. Another vital aspect of TB care is taking your medication every day. With the disruption in their lives and destruction of some health centers and hospitals, there was a fear that people weren't able to take their medication appropriately.

We met with directors of the 3 main hospitals, promotoras, and doctors. We walked through the now empty streets of central Pisco. Right after the earthquake, the streets were filled with people looking for food, help, or a place of refuge. But the streets have now been cleaned enough to at least let a car go through most of the roads.

There are tents and little flimsy houses set up. But it was hard to believe that a month had past, and it still looked like it did. We past a huge field filled with the rubble that had been collected.


In one hospital we saw guys trying to make computers work that had been damaged, sitting next to piles and piles of destroyed paperwork and patient charts.


We walked past the spot where a 6 story hotel had fallen down where, it's said, a large group of American tourists had just shown up. They've stopped looking through the rubble for bodies.

The roads no longer have as many people lined up begging for food or water. There are no more trucks of donations with lines of people waiting their turn for their allotted donation.

The trip, done all in one day, had a very different feel from the first one. During the first trip we all had a sense of caution, panic, and preparedness for whatever it was to come. This time we were more calm, laughed more, yet still shocked at the damage. I saw the same homemade tents in the streets with families cooking outside.

quotes from Zoe

My good friend Zoë has been living in Myanmar since last winter at a meditation center. Ever since she's been there, she sometimes will send me thoughtful poems or fables. She just sent me this one as we were talking about the familiar discussion of "life direction." To work hard or to live simply. To strive to be a top researcher on medical issues or to live in the mountains, enjoy hearing myself and watching other people's lives. I remember talking to a friend about this topic as well (life direction,) and said that part of me wants to just stop everything I've been doing, stop thinking about sad hard topics like how hundreds of thousands of people don't have water and what I can do about it, and do yoga all day instead. I don't mean to down play the importance of yoga--clearly it is something that also has pulled me. Zoë said, Chloë, choose the mountains. I want the mountains and the research and the sad topics with difficult, yet exciting and possible solutions. That's what I love. That's what drives me to apply for grants, study for the GREs, work with doctors who can be so rude they make me cry. I just wish on my walk home everyday I could see the mountains that are just a hundred miles away. Anyway, here's the poem:

My work is loving the world. . .
Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young and still not half-perfect? Let me
Keep my mind on what matters,
Which is my work,

Which is mostly standing still and learning to be
Astonished. . .
Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,
Which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
And these body-clothes,
A mouth with which to give shouts of joy. . .

-- Mary Oliver

Brief Relief Work Part 1

The earthquake happened on Wednesday evening, August 15th. Holly and Katie, my fellow volunteers, were running an errand, and I was eating dinner reading the New York Times online about Machu Picchu. We've had earthquakes here before, just a couple really small ones that lasted 10 seconds. So when it started, I thought it would stop immediately. It didn't stop, and everything was shaking. I didn't know what to do, so I went to the doorway to the stairwell. Everyone in the building was leaving, so I followed them out. I stood next to the doorman (door kid) and watched our building sway, the chandeliers in some apartments shaking. The feeling of being in the building with the walls and floor swaying was creepy. Getting to the ground outside and feeling the ground continue to move was even creepier, not to mention my extreme sensitivity to motion sickness. After a little over 2 minutes, the shaking and trembling stopped. Holly and Katie returned, and all was fine. We felt a "replica" that night and the next day, but nothing serious.

The next day I was in the car with the nurse who is my boss. We were on our way to group therapy for HIV patients, our first session. She was on her cell phone asking her secretary to call all of our MDR TB patients in Ica, Chincha, Pisco and Cañete--the cities most affected by the earthquake. On our ride back after the therapy sessions, it was clear that the patients could not be contacted, so we were going to send people down. One of the community workers (promotora) was sitting next to me--we both looked at each other and immediately said--we want to go.

She didn't end up coming, but I went with a few of the nurses from Socios, a couple promotoras, and a couple high up figures along with tons of bags of food, used clothing, mattresses, and cots.

Our drive down took longer than normal because the Pan American has been split in a few places. We all gathered to look out the front window of the bus at the big cracks in the narrow highway. At a bridge right before driving through Pisco, cars were going one at a time across because it has been slightly cracked. The houses lining the highway had fires built in front of them for light since the power was out. We arrived in Ica late at night and stayed at the parents' house of a doctor who works with Socios. The next day we woke up early, split up into teams, and set off to evaluate the situations of our patients. We were in groups of 3. In one neighborhood people starting stopping at our bus wondering what goods we had inside. My boss decided it was safer for me to stay with the bus and stuff at the hospital, while she and the promotora went to find the patients. The damage wasn't that bad in Ica, yet still many people's houses of adobe bricks had crumbled. That night we went out to eat, but it was hard to find an open restaurant. Because of the earthquake, people have been left without water or electricity, and the one chicken place with service, raised their prices exponentially. One store selling bread had a line down the block. Another store with a telephone had a similar line.

The next day we woke up early, said our good-byes to the nice family (who had pecan and fruit trees in the yard!) and made our way to Pisco. We had to have a game plan for Pisco because it was so destroyed, it would be too dangerous to take the bus into central Pisco. In an area already poor and known to be risky to walk around in, when suddenly no one has anything (water, food, electricity,) if someone sees any sign of relief, of course they're going to loot. Our plan worked well. The 2 promotoras and I stayed in the bus, hidden behind trucks in a parking lot at a gas station ready to hand out goods to the patients sent to us by the nurses. Our adrenalin was rushing, as we waited and then jumped into action when a patient showed up in a taxi with a nurse of ours. The hospital of Pisco had been destroyed, but we found a doctor who came to our bus in her ambulance. We gave her boxes of medical supplies, which she gratefully received. Everyone had tears in their eyes. Her face showed how thankful she was.

Leaving Pisco was one of the hardest experiences. Because of the delay from the bridge and the cracks in the road, traffic was moving really slowly. The sides of the highway were lined with people of all ages begging food, water, or anything. Some held up open bags. Others held signs saying "we need help." We passed many large groups of people, until it thinned out and it was safe enough for us to throw out bags of food without the worry of starting a fight for the bag. I was sitting at the front of the bus, so I could take photos. I've heard about people walking through villages in Africa where kids are begging for food, but I had never seen faces in so much need as the faces of the people I saw.

We ended our whirlwind relief work weekend in the town of Chincha where I went to with some friends a few months before. We went to see the afro-peruvian culture that exists there, inca ruins, and happened across a beautiful beach. This time I ate the same typical food, sopa seca y catapulcra, but saw a very different Chincha. The streets filled with tents where people were living. The walls around the hospital had fallen down, but the hospital itself was in pretty good shape. We camped out in the parking lot of the hospital handing out the food, clothes, and beds. It was dark when we finally had an empty bus and headed back to Lima. I arrived home hungry, tired, and feeling like I could hardly articulate what I had seen.

Stay tuned for part 2 when I went back a month later with some of the same nurses and people from PAHO and the Ministry of Health to show them the situation and work that needs to be done.

Celebrating 20 years of PIH's work

stay tuned...

As many of you know Peru had a serious earthquake August 16th, and while the damage in Lima was minimal, has left over 500 people dead and thousands without homes, and even more without water or electricity. Anyway, I have been meaning to write a blog post about a) the earthquake here, and b) my trip with people from Socios en Salud to look for our patients who live in the most affected areas. I apologize for the long delay, but work has been crazy this week. So I will leave you with some photos that we took last weekend. In terms of donations, I think PIH will soon have something on their website about how to support the relief work, otherwise I know Oxfam also was collecting for the people in Peru. The Bolivian president Evo and his VP are giving half their monthly salary! ($950)

Steps forward! Progress! Activity!

All my apologies for my extreme lack of attention to my blog upkeep. I went to Boston for 3 weeks and didn't spend much time at the computer, but now I am back to my life in Lima where I feel like I am always sitting at this computer. Fortunately now I have some new music to accompany me. It was wonderful in so many ways to be in Boston. I felt grateful to have the chance to be with my mom when she needed me and finally reciprocate to her the support and care that she has always given me. I also enjoyed practicing my skills as a "personal care assistant," as my mother referred to Eric and I. Catching up with old friends, and even older friends, was wonderful although the time was too short. I went to my first friend wedding which was beautiful, and got me thinking about life differently. Marriage is an odd phenomena. A quick trip to Brooklyn to see my little cousins. And of course trips to Walden Pond, the beach, Charlie's Kitchen, and the beloved (and changed) Diesel.

Here at Socios I have lots of exciting stuff going on (finally.) There was a meeting last weekend, like a 2-day retreat I think, of all the head honchos at Socios and my project on water and environmental health was talked about a lot. So it really seems like it's going to expand and get more support! At the same time, I am currently bogged down by hurrying to enter a whole bunch of psychiatric consults into a database.

The other exciting stuff that I have been thinking a lot about and not getting scared while thinking about it (a good sign) is where I'm going post-Socios. I'm currently starting to really look at nurse practitioner programs, study for the GREs, and apply for a grant. Wish me luck on all three of those, please.

OK, again, wonderful to see everyone back home. I wish I could've brought a little sun and warmth down here to foggy cold Lima and some farm and garden grown vegetables, but at least I can keep myself warm with coca tea and pisco sours. (Not sure why this post came out like a mass email, but it did.)

dreams

When I was little I went to a backpacking camp founded on Quaker values in Vermont. My brother had gone the summer before and had a great time. Came back with new friends that wrote him letters in decorated envelopes, beaded necklaces, and tie-dyed shirts. The days before I went, all I could do was imagine all the fun I would have and all the friends I would make. This was the summer after sixth grade, so I was feeling extra in need of a confidence boost that would make me feel cool even though I didn't wear "Limited, Co." jeans with matching plaid shirts. Anyway, I got there, and it just didn't happen. I made friends, had fun, made tie-dyed shirts and beaded necklaces. But it wasn't at all like in my day-dream fantasies. Probably nothing would've lived up to the expectations I had in my 13-year-old mind. I do remember that as the summer I learned to never hold expectations because they will always let you down. That idea had never occurred to me before, which I remember was sad because imagining and dreaming of how things will be (which come hand in hand with expectations) were fun things to do.

Recently I have been finding myself day-dreaming, planning trips that may or may not ever happen. A roadtrip from Lima, through Cusco, to Bolivia is the newest. I have learned though that it's okay to fantasize--good in fact. Just also good to be flexible. Not plan out every detail. Not plan out every feeling that I could feel. But imagining trips, imagining I am other places, with other people--it's a wonderful escape and inspiring way to make those things happen. When I first got here, I used to have these dreams where I would be at Diesel Cafe on a trip home just for the weekend. It was always so wonderful to see people I love and a place I love even if it was a brief visit. The café always looked different than it did when I left. Last night I dreamed I was at Diesel, and next week I will be there. For a brief visit home to a café that I'm sure does look different. There's even a whole new café.

Anyway, all this talk about dreaming was inspired by a couple things. One by Chino who always talks about his dreams to me (which I don't mind because I am usually in them..which makes it okay on my list of things that must be in a dream for me to want to hear them.) The dream/reality babble is also from a movie that I love that I just re-watched called La science des rêves or ("Science of Sleep.") Gael García Bernal (swoon) will take you through his experience of life through a blurred boundary between reality and dreams. He's an artist, has a crush on his neighbor who is also an artist, but his dreams keep interrupting his reality. It's beautiful, sad, and inspiring.

Point is, I've been thinking about expectations and dreams, and how I don't really need to banish them the way I thought I did after summer camp. Also, if I dream of doing something, why would I not do everything I could to make that dream come true?

"Sístema de mierda" part 2

Below are the lyrics to the Mac Salvador song "Sístema de mierda" that I referred to in an earlier post.

Each time I hear this song, I just want to share it and have others here it. Hearing people's passion for fighting for their community and their rights is inspiring. The other day I was meeting with some community promotores about household water problems, and they all got worked up hearing about this private company who is taking water from a valley and selling it to the public water company. There are laws in Peru about rights to water, but they are not followed. Anyway, here are the lyrics:

Ya no creo mas en políticos,
por que es sinonimo de porquerías
para creer en unos cuantos
si esos cuantos representan
falsedad,

suficiente con tragar
sus promesas que saben a mierda
son capaces de negar su sangre
por que no sus promesas,

Quisiera yo poder cambiar
esta realidad, mi sangre
derramaría por verla distinta,
poder soñar con un futuro
no muy lejano, ver a mis
hijos llegar hacia la meta
y que este abismo de corrupción
termine aquí y muera con ellos
que lleven consigo ese cáncer social
que no hacen otra cosa que jodernos la vida

Cambiaré el futuro de mi pueblo
con una cruz en la mano izquierda
y en la derecha una cuchara,

Esa cruz para espantar a esas bestias
y la cuchara para comer lo que
ellos acaparan

(hablando)
Si ante los ojos de Dios
y este pueblo indignado,
no se puede negar, que
somos gobernados por corruptos
he inmorales que se refugian en
leyes falaces para no ser juzgados
entonces digo yo, por que han de
callarme, por que han de amortazarme
si no es delito decir la verdad.

Para que ofrecer mi lealtad si
lo primero que saben es traicionar
para crecer en el sistema, si nos
han robado hasta la dignidad
suficiente con vivir de favores
reciclados de unos mierdas
que jamás permitirán levantarnos,
no aceptaré yo luchare para demostrar
que puedo cambiar el futuro de mis
hijos, no arriesgaré yo luchare
y que nunca mas que a mi bandera
estos la manchen de mierda por
gobernantes sin vergüenzas con
inmorales congresistas que venden
su alma por un par de monedas y en
nombre de Dios juran por la plata

garúa and a metal heart.

Winter in Lima is confusing. I am looking out my window, and it looks like it's snowing. I can hardly see to the other side of the street. I am wearing my vest and hat inside, so it could be snowing. But it's mist and fog, covering the city in a dense blanket of coldness that offers no escape. I am so confused about what month I am in--what season I am in. I feel like Halloween should be coming up, but it's June. Instead of picturing crocuses where I would be if I weren't in Lima, I am picturing damp colored crumpled leaves. But in reality what I see are damp pink flower petals on the sidewalks.

I procrastinated big time and am still preparing for a couple meetings tomorrow listening to Cat Power. Somehow Chan's voice is giving me just the right amount of accompaniment, so I don't feel alone (everyone else is asleep.) But not enough warmth and comfort that I am tempted to curl up and sleep instead of finish my work.


Ten fe that I get this work done for the meetings tomorrow. We are starting group therapy for patients with HIV. Tomorrow's goal is to get the psychiatrists from the Ministry of Health on board to help run the groups.

noticias

Pictures
I just made a flickr page to show pictures of my wonderful wonderful trip to the Sacred Valley with Michelle (one of my oldest friends.) The pictures hardly do it justice. I'll try to write more on the trip. I admit it's depressing to be behind a computer again after being in such a beautiful and "special" (as Holly describes it) place as the area around Cusco.

To stay or not to stay
I have gotten the word on high that I am invited and welcome to stay longer as a volunteer. I originally had been hired for a year which would come to a close this August. The current plan is to kind of flip-flop my projects. Currently I spend about 5 days on the mental health for TB patients project, and one day for the water project. Soon I will spend close to 5 days on the water project. I am excited that I still don't have to choose between one or the other--since I like them both (and don't liked deciding.) So to answer the question I get asked the most (when am I coming home,) I think I'll stop working here in December.

Winter
The seasons in Lima this year went straight from summer to winter. We are experiencing record low temperatures right now. For a city covered in humidity without heating, that means we are pretty cold. Not as cold as the people in the mountains though. We heard on the BBC this morning that 200 Peruvians have died recently in the mountains because of the cold.

I think those are the big news updates for the week. The other obvious one being that I have returned from my incredible week-long vacation.

"Sístema de mierda"

That's the name of a song I'm listening to right now. "System of shit." It's by Mac Salvador, a traditional huayno singer from Cusco. The song is about the corrupt political system. The people from the sierra here have really far left politics. Lefter than anything I've seen in the States. Anyway, I have only been hearing bits and pieces about what's happening in Washington from Collin (it's too disheartening and exhausting to keep up,) but this song reminded me that our political system may not be so unlike those of Latin America. This song is great though because his sweet voice and guitar sounds like he could easily be talking about a girl, or the mountains.

So this week is back to normal work for Chloe. Last Saturday was the big outing that I had been organizing for a while for the MDR TB patients in group therapy in Lima. As some of you may remember, I also organized a fieldtrip for them last December. This time was significantly less stressful, although obviously not without stress. The day went really well. Aldo, Anna, and Collin (the other volunteers who were around and free) came which was fun. About 125 people were there. We played the normal games they play at these kinds of things here (soccer, volley ball, three-legged race.) And then I added in a few (water balloon toss, fear-in-the-hat.) We also had a talent show which included a patient dressing in drag and dancing with his psychiatrist. Quite entertaining.

Anyway, I'm still waiting to hear the final word whether I am staying here longer or not. Supposedly I am not to talk about the fact that I might stay longer, but oh well, I already have. I told my boss (one of my bosses) that I would like to stay til December, so we'll see what happens. In about 8 days I am going to Ollantaytambo, the small town outside of Cusco where Holly lived that I fell in love with when I went with my family. So there is still the fear (or amazing alternative) that instead of staying here working with PIH in Lima, I escape to live there and ride horses all day...

LD crisis, processing, and resolution

As I learned in my time with "Life Directions Boston 2005-2006," when thinking about future plans, worries, fears, and doubts can be cut in half when expressing them (or putting them in a hat.) I recently practiced this quite extensively as I discussed my short-term and long-term plans with a large number of people. Part of it was just me saying "I have to make a decision about whether I'm going to my friend's wedding that makes me feel like I need to decide about whether I want to be a nurse or not." That sounds like it doesn't make sense, and I won't bore you with the whole sequence of choices/decisions that are involved, but in my mind that's how it was working out. Anyway, I've come to the decision that I would like to stay at Socios en Salud longer than my original year. One of my bosses would like me to stay too. Now we're just waiting on the official word from the head honchos, and the decision will be made. This decision does not mean that I have officially decided to study nursing, although currently that's top on the list. Thanks for all who helped me make the decision. I think I knew it all along, but talking to people made it a lot easier. Elaine has a great poem on her blog that feels relevant to this whole process of decision-making that is life. The fun news is that my decision allows me to go to Leslie's wedding! Great how things work out. Hope to see some of you in Boston at the end of July!

la comunidad

A big difference I have always noticed between the States and the few places I have visited in Latin America (few, but a growing list!) is the difference in our sense of community. Neighborhoods here have plazas where families congregate on Sundays, couples walk around together in evenings, and dogs (in rich neighborhoods) are walked. The plazas in the poor neighborhoods are also filled with families, dogs, and couples. Although the dogs aren't leashed, nor are they nicely groomed Shnauzers.

Last week I went to a meeting for Inydmedia Peru and met this really inspiration kid. He's probably 18, but looked 13 or 14. Anyway, he lives up near Carabayllo and has started this education program for the children of his community with some of his friends. They just had their first summer program. The young people that run the group are all anti-machismo and make sure that the boys play volley ball (a very popular sport amongst girls here) and the girls play soccer (obviously you know how popular that is amongst boys.) The group leaders are also all vegetarian (not common in the Peru) and work with other community groups to better possibilities for young people and generate awareness of social issues. It was really incredible to listen to his stories and ideas. I was very impressed, especially because he looked 14. Eric (my brother) has told me impressive stories about what the youth he works with do, so I shouldn't be so surprised.

But going back to the community issue, it just feels like caring about the good of the community is just such an obvious value here that is absent from most communities in the U.S. When I first heard about the Virginia Tech killings I was thinking about Ricardo (the young impressive kid.) He and his community struggle with other kinds of life or death issues (lack of water, lack of toilets, piles of rotting trash, unemployment, gangs.) In communities here, groups like his might not be that uncommon. Look at Socios for example. Ten years ago a few doctors came in and asked community members if they could help out with sick people, and those community members are still working for Socios. People who live near other people who are sick or extremely poor, bring them food and medicine weekly without any compensation. But in the U.S., where we value individualism so much, not only are we making it easy to be anonymous, isolated, and lonely; but we are also not encouraging people to look out and notice their fellow community members. It seems the Virginia Tech shooter is the sad victim of how individualistic our society has become, and his peers and adult society have not been trained adequately to reach out, include him, or feel responsable for him. As the young man's English teacher said on BBC this morning, I mourn for him, for the other students, and for their parents. Included in the victims was a Peruvian student.

I remember when I was in Bolivia dating Juan Pablo and he said to me accusingly, "Chloe, you're so individualistic. You're always looking out for your own needs." I said, "Oh thank you!" Thinking that I was maturing and becoming able to take care of myself finally. I am learning that there are obviously drawbacks to the strong sense of community and drawbacks to the strong sense of individualism. For some reason I feel like I can't ask for sympathy when telling Ricardo about the Virginia Tech shootings because it seems like the kind of tragedy that would only happen in a country as wealthy and, well, I can't think of the word that I'm looking for. But it almost seems like an ironic and tragic luxury that this could happen, and that this is the biggest thing that young people are dealing with in the States this week. Students in Lima recently held a huge march defending their public education. They are seriously fighting for their right to learn. Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant and commentary on what's going on.

tiempo tiempo

I feel like I'm getting all behind in posting. Like I'm having all these great experiences, thoughts, and learning new things, and I'm not sharing them all with my readership (aka, my mom.) But I guess that is the point. I'm supposed to be having the experiences, and not necessarily reporting on them immediately after they occur. In any event, I will try since I do like this whole reporting on events thing. It's a good way for me to process, as well as for you all to see what I'm doing. (by the way, thanks again for helping fund these incredible experiences!)

Anyway, instead of writing a complete post today, here are some pictures of me experiencing Ecuador and Easter taken by Holly. We just spent a week in Ecuador which was really incredible. Fortunately our visa trip fell during Semana Santa, so we could take a couple extra days.





For some reason candy apples are huge around Easter. They were selling them outside of all the churches. Anyway, thanks for reading!